It's been quite a year for me. As you all may already know, I moved from Arizona back to Colorado earlier this year. I'm currently still on the hunt for a house and have found a great hotel to stay at in the meantime, but I can't wait to get a place! I really miss baking and cooking all the time. I've made it my goal, that when I move into a place, I'm going to cook or bake at least one different recipe every week, and share it here on the blog. Same for crafts, I want to start doing crafts, at least twice a month!
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If you ever have a chance to go to Manitou Springs in Colorado, make sure you do so! It is absolutely the cutest little hippie town ever! My family and I go once a week, usually on Sundays, to walk around the shops and go to the arcade. My toddler loves riding the little quarter-rides and playing the nickel-games, and I love getting myself some funnel cake (with everything on it) and then walking around to all the shops. I discovered this little bath product shop a few weeks ago, and had to go in. Walking past this shop, it reminded me of a Bath and Body Works or something, because all I could smell was the amazingness of the bath bombs coming from the inside. I hope to be able to get some bath bombs in one of my next visits. But that's a blog post for the future.
When I was younger, my mom bought me a body lotion that was my absolute favorite lotion of EVER. It was a cherry almond scented lotion, and it made my skin so ridiculously soft it wasn't even funny. For some reason, I have never seen another bottle of this lotion, not ANYWHERE. I looked for years for this stuff and was close to giving up entirely, when I stumbled across this store in Manitou called Salus Bath and Body. The first thing I noticed there was the amount of different bath bombs to choose from. Being somewhat addicted to bath bombs, I just HAD to go in. Then I saw this whole wall of different body products such as lotions and body oils, and a table in the center of the room loaded top to bottom with different scented oils. That was when I got the idea to try to duplicate this absolutely amazeballs lotion I had been looking for for so damn long. I started off figuring out what lotion base would be closest to the original lotion I had. They had so many different bases to choose from, I didn't know where to start! Luckily, I could try out each base so I could figure out what I want. Aloe lotion, goat milk lotion, hemp lotion, shea lotion, they had so many! I ended up choosing the hemp lotion, because, hemp. I had heard of the benefits of hemp lotion; it has a high concentration of vitamins A, B1, B2, B6, C, D, and E, which are all fantastic for their anti-aging and preventative skincare properties. Hemp lotions are also believed to help with skin conditions such as eczema and psoriasis. I've had a form of eczema since I was younger, and I was really hoping to get a hold of something that can help me out. After deciding on a base, I browsed around their scent options. I found the cherry scented oil, no problem. Finding an almond scent was a little more difficult, so I ended up just going to the front counter and asking if they even had it. I was so happy to hear that they did! So I grabbed a small bottle (travel size bottle, it was cheapest) for my lotion and took it to the front for them to create my scent! We started out putting the scents on a strip of paper to figure out how much of each scent to add to my lotion to get what I was looking for. After two or three tries, we got one I was pretty happy with, and she went ahead and mixed my lotion! Off topic, but they totally had a milkshake mixing machine to mix this product, and it made me giggle because it was literally the same exact one I have at home. I took my lotion home and after my next shower, coated my body, neck to toe. I absolutely permeated with a cherry smell, and I was in HEAVEN. I kid you not, I smelled like cherry for the next four hours, and it was absolutely amazing. The only downside I can find to smelling like cherry is that bees are also attracted to sweet, fruity smells, and I am terrified of bees. My skin has literally never been softer or smoother. I've been using this lotion for about two weeks now after every shower and I have visibly seen less eczema on my arms and not a single breakout on my hands since I started using it! Surprisingly, I've also noticed my nails looking healthier, because I've been using it on my hands and massaging it into my cuticles. Another fantastic difference I've noticed since starting to use this lotion, is my feet. Let me go a tid bit off topic and explain to you that I hate feet. I avoid looking at them, touching them, interacting with feet in any way, shape, or form. Even my own feet. Feet are just gross, ok? Ok. Well, I've always had gross, dry, cracking toe knuckles, and my heels have always been rough. Gross, right? Well, after starting to use this lotion, my knuckles haven't been dry, cracky, peely, not a nothing! My heels are still healing (no pun intended) but even those are seeing improvement in just the last two weeks! Perfect for the Summer months when I wear flippies and sometimes even go barefoot! So all in all, my personal opinion of Salus Bath and Body is this : It's probably one of my favorite places in Manitou Springs! It's got so many products that I can't wait to try! I plan on getting myself a larger bottle of this Cherry-Almond Hemp lotion some time soon, along with this product they call "Pixie Dust", which is pretty much an Aloe Vera gel with glitter. I want to try this out because my husband, my daughter, and myself, are all fairly pale and burn easily. I've got Italian blood in me so I don't burn as easily as they do, but I want to keep some Aloe Vera on hand for when we get a burn. Obviously my husband won't use it because it's sparkly, but that's fine, more for me! And my next trip to Manitou, I plan on getting myself at least one bath bomb so I can try them out and decide if I like them and want to buy more or not. Since I have very sensitive skin, I'm always very cautious about trying new bath products, but definitely look forward to trying virtually everything Salus has to offer! I originally received a small bottle of this leave in conditioner in my Ipsy bag when I was still an Ipsy subscriber. When I first pulled it out of my bag, I was slightly hesitant. I don't like using new products on my skin or hair, because my skin is sensitive and my hair is like my baby - I would be devastated if my hair got destroyed by a new product or bad haircut. I took the spray part off so I could smell it, and it smelled so good. I have super thick, super curly hair, so I was curious how much spray it would take after a shower to make my hair silky soft.
I hopped in the shower, did my regular shampoo and conditioner routine, dried off, and sprayed my hair. At the time, I still towel-dried my hair because I didn't know that caused frizz - oops! Now, I have this spiffy little microfiber towel that I picked up from the dollar store to dry my hair, which has definitely helped cut down on the frizz. I bring this up because frizz was a big problem for me. Even when I was still towel-drying my hair, I noticed a decrease in frizz after using a few spritzes of this leave-in conditioner! Now that I have this microfiber towel AND this leave-in conditioner, I've gotten so many compliments on my hair! Another couple benefits of this product are that it prevents breakage and repairs split ends, and since I always had my hair in a bun or ponytail, breakage was definitely an issue I had. With my hair looking healthier with each use, I actually didn't want to put my hair up as often as usual. When I did have my hair up, there was noticeably less breakage in my hair! Let's move on to heat protection. You more than likely heat-treat your hair at some point or another. Blow drying, straightening, or curling, the heat damages your hair! So why not prevent the damage and protect your hair before even styling it? I used to straighten my hair A LOT. I've grown to really like my curls, but I still like a good straightened style every now and then, and I still occasionally use a blow dryer. It also protects your hair color against heat tools, and if you didn't already know, straighteners and curling irons can fade your hair FAST. All in all, I really REALLY love this leave-in conditioning treatment. I don't have a negative thing to say about it! I use this after literally every shower and then run my fingers through my hair instead of using a brush. Without this leave-in, I have a hard time getting my fingers through my hair. With it, oh my goodies, it's like silk! I can even brush through my toddler's butt-length hair with ease, and she HATES having her hair done! I purchased my bottle at Burlington, but you can get yours online at their website if you can't find one in store! My whole life, I've been afraid of trying new things. New food, new hair styles, new makeup, new clothes, even new styles of shoes. Why? Because I was afraid of what others would say or think. I was afraid that I'd be embarrassed or look stupid. I was afraid that I would mess it up and get laughed at. Talk about ridiculous! I remember in Sophomore year of high school, being anxious as I walked into my school because I was wearing these hot new high heels I had just gotten. I remember thinking to myself, "what if I trip or stumble or roll my ankle, and everyone laughs?" I thought that would be what I would be remembered for. I remember in Freshman year of high school, being questioned by my peers why I was wearing makeup, I remember them all making a big deal out of it and making me really uncomfortable. I remember feeling like everyone was talking about and laughing at me. I remember every time I changed schools, I was excited because I could be anyone I wanted to be, because nobody knew me there, even though I always ended up being the weird girl that was way too anxious to really enjoy my high school years. That anxiety rolled over into my adult years, and let me just tell you -- I'm sick of it. I've been hiding my whole life because I'm afraid. But I have no control over the things that I'm constantly fearing, and I've come to realize that stressing it doesn't do me any good!
Of course, I'm going to start small and take baby steps. I started to have a small panic attack today, but was able to work myself through it. At Walmart, today, I discovered some makeup that I want to try out. In the past, I was always afraid to try out new makeups for a few reasons. One, I didn't want to spend money on something I've never tried before only to find out I don't like it; the formula, the color, whatever. Two, I didn't want to spend money on something only to find out that my skin is too sensitive for it, and have it make me break out. Three, I was uncomfortable with the attention it may attract, the constant "What are you all dressed up for?" or the "Who are you getting all dolled up for?" I decided today that my fears don't matter, that I'm never going to get anywhere if I can't take the first step forward. I've decided I'm going to start getting myself one new product a week and trying new things out. Not only will it help me build my blog by giving me new topics to talk about, but it will also give me another small step forward in fighting off my anxiety. The whole point of this blog post tonight isn't to ramble, it isn't just a filler to take up space in my blog. It's to give myself something to come back to when I need to remind myself that there's nothing to be afraid of and that it's good to try new things. It's to give other people that point of view if they might be going through what I am. It's to tell the world that no matter who might see, never EVER be afraid to be yourself, or you're going to miss everything in life. This week, I went to Burlington and found a fantastic leave in conditioner I wanted to try out. I picked it up, and will use it for a week before writing my review. Check back next week for my review! When you ask a new mother how she's liking parenthood, you're bound to get something along the lines of, "Oh, it's great!" or "I'm loving it!" or even, "It's everything I wanted and more!" If you don't have kids of your own, you're sure to take them for their word and go about your life like everything is ok. But let me crack the shell on the truth behind parenthood. It's hard. It's gross. It's stressful. It's not for the faint of heart!
Before I became a mother, I had so many aspirations in life. I wanted to travel, I wanted to open my own business, I wanted to have a big house with lots of pretty and expensive things, I wanted to be able to spoil myself and have a successful career. I wanted to learn how to take care of myself and do my makeup properly. There were so many plans and goals I had for myself. And then, I became a mother. And then, everything I had ever wanted for myself got put on the back burner. What I wanted for myself quickly got replaced with what I wanted for my daughter. I want her to grow up happy, healthy, and confident. I want her to grow up to know she can achieve anything she sets her mind to. I want her to have beautiful clothes and shoes and I want her to have every toy she could possibly want. I want her to want for NOTHING. But what about mommy? In the last three years, I've been screamed at by a miniature human being 85% of the time she's been awake, I've been thrown up on, peed on, spit at, hit, kicked, drawn on, I've missed so much sleep I could probably be classified as a zombie, I've only gotten my hair cut maybe two times; I mean, the list of abuse goes on and on! I've got the same underwear that I had before I got pregnant, and they are now several sizes too small. I've gotten one bra since having her, and I've outgrown that as well. The majority of my makeup has been expired for ever. I can't remember the last time I fit into anything that didn't have an elastic waistband because it's cheaper to buy than new jeans. I can sing the intro to almost any show you can find on Nick Jr, Disney Jr, and Cartoon Network. I haven't seen a scary movie in maybe six months, and haven't been out on a date with my husband in, I don't even remember how long. I leave the house in my pj's most days because it's pointless to dirty up new clothes just to go get milk from Walmart. My hair is almost always in a ponytail or braid, because if I have my hair down in any way, I can't see where my toddler ran off to. My workout regimen consists of pushing a stroller up and down the sidewalk a few days a week, and if I try to do any kind of workout at home, I have a toddler climbing all over me. The majority of my conversations consist of arguing with a miniature human to use her inside voice, finish her dinner, and be nice, along with trying to figure out exactly what she's saying back to me. I've figured out maybe 70% of what she has to say. I try to get her to use REAL words, and I get "Ga?" in return. Yes, from a three and a half year old. Then she sits and giggles maniacally at me seeing the frustration growing in my twitching eye. I know my hair is falling out faster than it should be. I've missed parties, concerts, dinners, job interviews, graduations, funerals, everything you're supposed to be able to go to and enjoy in your younger years! I've had to quit jobs. I've had to cancel and postpone so many plans, that I'm almost POSITIVE people have just stopped inviting me along. When I do see a friend, it's almost always at home where I can keep the toddler confined and behaved, and within close proximity to her bedroom in case she needs a time out. I can't tell you how many times I've had to cut a shopping trip short because someone wanted to be a cranky butt. But on top of all of these, there's so much good to it. Every morning, she wakes up and I get to hear, "Hi, mommy!" and I get a big, squeezy hug and a kiss. Several times throughout every single day, she wants a random hug or a kiss. Out of nowhere, she'll give me the "I love you" sign language sign. I get pictures of smiley faces drawn for me on every surface she can reach. I get to see a big, beautiful smile looking back at me. I get to sit back and listen to her using her imagination and playing with her toys, listening to her making her dolls talk to each other and dance together, and the occasional "HYAH! HYAH!" of making her dolls fight. I get to listen to her giggle when we're watching tv together. I get to listen to her try to sound out new words, or try to tell us about something awesome she sees! I get to watch her learn to use her manners and I get to hear her cute little "PWEEESE?" and "DANK OU!" when she wants something. I get to have hundreds of kisses blown to me on a daily basis. On top of all of this, and so much more, I get to see her grow up and learn and explore the world. My life has been completely put on hold, all so I can help get this tiny human being to learn how to act like a respectable member of society. Do I miss my life before kids? Absolutely, I do! Would I trade what I have now to get my old life back? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. My life is only on hold, and once my own daughter grows up, my life will jump back to the top of the list. It just takes a little bit of patience and a lot of love. I got about 3-4 hours of sleep last night and the toddler ended up waking up earlier than I did, so needless to say, I was groggy this morning. My husband was amazing and set up my coffee to brew before he left for work. He brewed my normal 2 1/2-3 cups (depending on how I pour it that day) and I made my first cup..... I only had enough creamer for one stinkin cup!! Grrrr.
Ok, fast forward a few hours to about 12:30. We go downstairs to the laundry room and get our 4 loads going (sheets, towels, lights, and darks) and set my timer for 30 minutes since that's what the timer on the machines are set for. about 35 minutes later, I come back down, there's a basket of laundry outside one of the washers I was using (common practice here, no big deal) but only two of the loads were done! One load still had 15 minutes, another still had 20 minutes. *sigh* So I throw what is finished into the dryer and start it. head back upstairs for another maybe 30 minutes and while the toddler is eating her lunch, I head back down to switch the laundry. It's finally ready to be swapped into the dryer and head back upstairs... Only to find that my daughter has deadbolted me out of our room and I can hear her giggling behind it..... Are you fucking serious? I try to trick her into opening the door by saying we're going on a Pokemon hunt (Pokemon Go is her favorite) and then I try to tell her we're gonna go play in Daddy's Truck because she likes to pretend to drive. Nothing worked. I offered her a dang piece of candy. Nope. I finally call my husband and interrupt him at work, at which point he reminds me that she'll get very excited about the idea of playing in the snow, so of course I ask that through the door and I can hear her tiny little feet run over and she unlocks the door. She was not a happy camper when I made her lay down for a nap. While she napped, I did get a really nice hot soak in a bath and I got to relax in silence. It was fantastic..... it's the little things. My husband got home from work and she woke up in a great mood. We're getting ready to go shopping, and while my husband is walking the dogs, I'm looking for socks for her. It's laundry day, and all her socks are in the clean laundry, which is still in the hamper. Crap. So I dump it into a pile on my bed and start my search. One sock found! Now just to find another.... Any sock will work! Matching or no! Cool, I find another sock. Now... To find some shoes. I find a pair of sneakers and realize they're too dang small. My girl is growing up so fast. Ok, back to looking for her shoes. She is asking for her "Purple Boots", her favorite. Still no clue where they are. They've been missing for a few days now. I'm sure they'll turn up when they're too small. I've already spent 20 minutes looking for her socks, my husband is coming back from walking the dogs, and I'm looking for her dang shoes. Another 5-10 minutes or so of searching while listening to "Purple Boots? Purple Boots? Purple Boots?" on repeat, and I can feel my eye beginning to twitch again. And there they are. A pair............... OF SANDALS. So I take her socks off that I spent so long looking for, and put on her sandals. This, folks, is my life. Life has been a little bit crazy for me since my last post. I moved to Colorado with my small family, but we have yet to find a home. When we moved out here, we had two dogs, and a cat. That cat, Boo, was one of the absolute COOLEST cats I've even encountered, and I was so lucky to be able to call him mine for the few years that I had him. He passed away on March 13, and I've been having a pretty rough time with it. So now, it's just my husband, my daughter, my two dogs, and myself, but we're all crammed into a studio suite and we're making it work, but we're looking every day for a place to rent until we buy our own land and build our house. My husband has a promising job and has already been moved up to lead of his jobsite. Myself, I'm still a stay at home mom dreaming of going to college and dreaming of owning my own small business.
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